I finally have some time and brain cells to make a post con blog. 2011 Con was very different for me, simply because I went from being an Eternal Member to being a Track Director.
A very good friend of mine asked me this question: "Why did you take your favorite vacation and turn it into a job?" I have been asked this question a lot, in a lot of different ways.
The answer to that question is complicated and easy at the same time. I have never had enough faith in myself to accomplish anything big. Others in my life have faith in me and believe in me. But I never do. When this directorship was offered to me, it scared me. I mean it *scared* me. Failure flashed before my eyes and I had not even accepted the position. And for some reason I decided on the spot, that I was going to accept the challenge and I was going to give it 100% effort. If I failed, I failed but I was going to try.
So with a not so hidden lack of confidence I attended my first directors meeting. I knew a sum total of two people personally in that room of directors. I forgot what being the newbie/freshman/rookie felt like. I was the "kiddy girl". People said, "oh you are taking on the kiddy track! LOL" Nice. Perfect. Standing on the edge of the ultimate insiders club looking in.
Refusing to be forted, I dug into my new job. With some help and lots of luck, I put together a staff. With several re-directs and edits between January and July we hashed out a Track schedule. Sometimes I felt like I was driving blind, sometimes I felt just fine. Sometime I did the right thing, sometimes I did the complete opposite.
The week before convention I was an uptight bundle of nerves on the edge. The ultimate unknown. I had 6 days of uncharted waters staring me in the face. 7 people relying on me to be the boss and 45,000 people looking at my schedule. My newly Loyal KT parents helped ease the transition along with a great staff. Thursday was a total FUBAR. Friday was different. I was nervous, yes but I wasn't afraid to fail. I had made the best plan possible and we were fixing to execute that plan. That is all I could do and I knew it. Friday, Saturday and Sunday went by in a busy, crazy blur. I was blown away by full panels and excited kids. Thankful parents. Fantastic Panelists. No one exploded into flames. No one got arrested. No children were abandoned. It wasn't perfect but it was better than I expected.
Monday felt like a day in slow motion. The last panels, track wrap up, packing out the room. Dead Dog. By this time unknowns be damned, I was eating my free meal and I was going to like it. I sat at a table full of people I didn't know and I didn't care.
Dave: You were my partner in crime the whole way. Never saying no, never accepting failure. Always being supportive with out being enabling. Three Words: Gummy Bear Lamps. Love you.
Suz: You were my sounding board. You kept me straight, didn't put up with my crap and knew when to take my phone away. You took care of more than I could have ever hoped for. Thanks and much love.
Cookie and Barrie: Thank you for supporting me even though you didn't understand why. Breakfast was never so wonderful as it was with you.
Bev and Jason: Your hospitality every two months is greatly appreciated. I still owe you some kind of casserole.
David G: Thanks for holding my hand, putting up with my worrying and letting me work things out for myself.
Now, it starts all over again, I hope.